Full Moon
by Avey Original
Summary: AU. Bella Cullen is a vampire with a long past. Life is perfect living in the small town of Forks, until he showed up. Edward Swan challenged everything Bella worked so hard to maintain. Past and present collide, she must decide who she can't live without
1. The Begining of the End

Hey everyone, I'm back!

Don't worry, Summer Vacation isn't dead yet, just waiting for my muse to return. While we're waiting, I thought you guys might like this one. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

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_Chapter 1 ~ The Beginning of the End_

I am old, yet young, beautiful, but inconspicuous. I have run with wolves, swam with dolphins and hid among humans. I have explored the enchanted forests and waterways of the Amazon and even swam among the ruins of Atlantis. My name is Isabella Cullen, and I am a vampire.

Before I continue, let me dissipate some myths for you. I do not have fangs, and sunlight does not harm me. Holy water makes me wet and garlic is good on pizza, or so I am told. Crucifixes are simply a religious icon, not a vampire-slaying device. As for the stake through the heart myth, well first you'd need to catch me, and then there is that little issue with my skin being the consistency of granite. However, I do drink blood; you humans did manage to get that one right. Human, animal, for me it doesn't matter, so long as I get that fix from the crimson liquid. When I drink human blood, my eyes turn the most unnerving shade of red, but when I feed off of animals; my eyes are a warm honey colour.

My skin is very pale and as cold as death (no pun intended), and in the sun, I sparkle. Yes, sparkle. Like a thousand tiny diamond shards are imbedded in my skin. My deep brown hair is a sharp contrast to my skin, but rather than take away from my beauty, it enhances it. I may appear to be somewhere between seventeen and nineteen, but I assure you, I'm closer to two hundred. I don't recommend you ask a vampire her age though, we don't like that.

I was born to an eccentric botanist and his wife. I grew up with monkeys and gazelles as my friends and the Amazon as my play ground. To this day, the Amazon is still my true home and I find myself drawn back to the emerald forest and winding rivers more and more. Unfortunately, history does not remember my parents, though they were well known at the time for the advances they made in medicine. Even if modern doctors do no recognize the accomplishments, I shall never forget.

What I remember about my life revolves around sunlit days sprawled in the canopy of the rainforest discovering the world, and moonlit nights curled by the fire learning the art of healing. I'd like to think I had a good life, even if it was sheltered from civilization. I may not remember many specific details about my life, but I shall never forget my death.

It was another lovely day and I was laying on one of the thick branches that hung over the river, I was hoping to catch the first glance of our native friends. They usually came to check on us once every couple of weeks, and they were over due for a trip. I never did see them sliding silently down the river in their canoes, but I did see something just as fascinating. The Natives called it a Bota, a river goddess that could turn into a human maiden and lure you back to her underwater realm. We called it a River Dolphin. A gorgeous, bubble gum pink creature that swam beneath the branch I was stretched across. My father had told me about these shy creatures, and seeing this one now, I was enthralled. I never realized I was leaning over until it was too late.

The water was deep and the bank too far away. My dress pulled me under and held me. The last thing I remember was a pair of strong, cold arms wrapping around my body just as the searing liquid filled my lungs.

For three days and three nights I drifted in and out of consciousness, my body burned from the inside out, like liquid fire coursing through my veins. Pain seared into my mind as I withered and died. Finally I woke up from my last sleep, a newly created vampire.

My creator was named Kirin. He never did tell me why he decided to change me, and I have never asked. My parents were left to assume that their daughter was claimed by the forest, just another victim of the Amazon.

I stayed with Kirin for many years; to me he was the big brother I never had when I was alive. I often got the feeling that he wished we were more, but he never forced it upon me. Kirin taught me how to survive in a world of humans, a world were we lived among our prey. He allowed me to taste both human and animal blood, leaving me with my own decision for my meals. We never hunted together, always alone, stalking our prey without the worry of fighting each other for dominance. This partnership lasted a good fifty years or more, but my love for nature was what finally tore us apart. Kirin was content with a Dukedom he had purchased, but my feet still itched to explore.

From England I traveled through Russia, into China then India. Egypt, Niger, and then deep into the Congo. With each new place, I learned something new about myself and this half-life I've been gifted and cursed with. It wasn't until I made it to the New World that I met another vampire.

Carlisle Cullen was a doctor at the hospital I was volunteering at. Together we fought the Spanish Influenza, though even with our combined efforts, we never did beat the consuming sickness. I have followed him ever since. It has been interesting living on his all animal diet, but I have coped, it wasn't like I never drank animal blood before.

Our coven of two grew into a family of three when Carlisle took a mate with a young woman named Esme. Next came the beauty queen Rosalie Hale, then she too took a mate, Emmett Cullen. Not long after that our coven was completed with the addition of Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale. They became my family, my mother and father, my brothers and sisters.

Time passed and we finally settled in the small town of Forks, Washington. A gloomy, rainy place, just perfect to be called home by a vampire coven. It is here that my life, or rather death, truly begins.

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Chapter two is on its way, I'll have it posted this weekend. Hope you can wait that long.

Cheers,

Avey


	2. The Difference Between Need and Want

_Hey friends, _

Welcome back! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, I'm sorry this one took longer then expected, my laptop decided to die on me. Explosive die. I'll be slower uploading for a few weeks until I can get my laptop fixed (or a new one for x-mas!). Anyways, thanks everyone for your reviews! Keep them coming. Now, on with the show!!!

.. Avey_

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_Chapter 2 ~ The Difference Between Want and Need_

Want is a selfish word used only to describe something that has no useful purpose in life. If you want something, it merely means that you wish to possess it for the sake of calling it yours; it has no purpose in life other than to satisfy your whim. At least, that is how I have always felt.

When the sun rose that morning, I never thought much about how that day would turn out, just that it was another day of our semi-existence. I should have stayed home, I should have gone hunting, and I shouldn't have gone to school.

"Today's going to be interesting." Alice commented lightly as all us 'kids' climbed into my shinny silver Volvo. I love my Volvo, it's so fast and shinny and just perfect for a teenage vampire.

"I'm sure it will." Rosalie muttered with little enthusiastically from the backseat. It didn't take thirty years for us to figure out that Rosalie despised our lot in life. Emmett was the only one who was ever able to cheer her up, I often wonder how Emmett could put up with Rose, but he always managed it.

"Welcome to another day in Hell." I grumbled darkly, what can I say, I have my bad days too. Pressing down on the accelerator, we sped towards Forks High School. When you have better reflexes than a cat and eye sight superior than an eagle's, there is no need to worry about trivial things like speed limits. Not to mention Alice could tell us if we were about to get a speeding ticket.

Parking in the school lot, I felt a buzz coming from the collection of teens that milled about the campus. Climbing out of my Volvo, it didn't take me long to catch the whispers that were being passed around. Oh, did I mention earlier that vampires also have amazing hearing?

"He's Chief Swan's kid." One girl said in a hushed tone as she gazed around, no doubt trying to catch a glimpse of an unknown face. New students always cause a stir in this town. "Kicked out of his other high school." One of the boys commented. "Nah, I heard that his mother kicked him out of the house." Corrected another.

I didn't give it a second thought until lunch. Lunch was always a wasted period for us. Vampires don't eat food like humans do. Forget pizza and ice cream, just some nice, fresh blood. I'm sure you could imagine how well it would go over if we brought one of our meals to school. _'I'll take a bloody Mary please, with a side of a bleeding John.'_ Ya, maybe was a time for us to listen in on the gossip of others, or simply lose ourselves in thought. Sitting at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria, today's lunch started out no different.

Vampires are, by nature, curious creatures. We have no fear, no sense of dread. Any abnormal occurrence or new addition to our environment must be explored. So naturally, when I heard a voice I didn't recognize, I was immediately drawn to it.

"Who are they?" It was male that was for sure.

"Oh, they're the Cullen's. They're all adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife. The one that looks like he's always in pain is Jasper Hale, and the model over there? That is his sister, Rosalie Hale, they are Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew. The little one is Alice, and the big guy is Emmett." A girl answered, Jessica.

"Who is that?" the boy asked again, obviously indicating someone else.

"Isabella Cullen, but she doesn't date." That was Mike, an annoyance that happened to be in my grade, a proverbial golden retriever, one of the few humans that tried to get closer to a vampire.

"Oh." Again the boy, I could feel his eyes on me.

Turning in my seat, I spotted the source of the voice. Vampires aren't supposed to be drawn to humans, humans are supposed to be drawn to us; unfortunately it seems my mind wouldn't accept that because I was drawn to this boy. He had a gorgeous head of golden hair that fell about his face in an untidy mess. You wouldn't call him hot or sexy, he was lanky, almost boyish looking with tanned skin, probably from the sun. However, his eyes where a startling shade of green that swam with intelligence and kindness. Still, it was all this and his scent that held me. Even from half way across the room I could smell him. Not in a bad way, I assure you, quiet the opposite actually. He smelt like the Amazon. That is the best way I can explain it. He smelt of rain and crushed leaves, of dew and sunlight and humidity. It took a great deal for me to tare my eyes away from him.

"Do you see anything, Alice?" Rosalie asked. Alice has the uncanny ability to see the future. Its not exact mind you, more or less she can see what path someone is on at that time.

We needed to know if this new kid was a threat to us, if his curiosity was more then just that of a new student getting acquainted with the school. If Alice saw anything out of the ordinary, if he showed too much curiosity, we needed to ship out. Few humans could tell that we were so different, but some could. We needed to spot these humans before they spotted us.

Alice was quiet a moment, looking at me, almost searching my face for the answer. "I think we'll be fine, for now." Was her answer, short and simple, but her golden eyes never left my darker ones. I had to wonder if she saw something to do with me, if she could read the interest from my face.

"I'm going to class." I hissed to my siblings. Grabbing my tray of uneaten food, I cracked the plastic with the force I was holding it with. Throwing the whole thing in the garbage, I stalked off to my next class, Biology.

This was not good, not good at all. I could deal with the rest of the human population, but not him, not when he smells so damn _appetizing_. I growled and punched the painted brick wall, leaving an imprint of my fist. Taking deep breaths, I tried to expel the mouth watering aroma.

Taking my seat at the back of the biology class room, I gave a sigh of relief, knowing that Edward Swam was in an entirely different building. Closing my eyes, I relaxed back in my chair and waited for class to begin. I paid little attention as the room slowly filled up with over enthusiastic seventeen year olds.

"Class! Can I have your attention?" The balding biology teacher fought to be heard over the student's voices. "I would like to introduce you to Edward Swan." If my heart was still beating, it would have just stopped. "Mr. Swan, why don't you take a seat?"

Of course, the only open seat happened to be right beside me. God either didn't want this boy to live much longer, or He wanted to punish me. Which ever it was, the chances that Edward was going to make it home tonight grew slimmer and slimmer as he took his seat beside me.

As subtly as I could I held my breath, pushing myself as far from him as I could, I waited for class to end. Another great thing about vampires, we breathe out of habit rather than necessity. "Hi, I'm Edward." He gave me this crooked half smile, and suddenly I felt my body relax slightly.

"Bella." I offered, still not moving from my position at the far side of the table. It was unusual for a human to seem so comfortable around us. Usually humans feel something wrong about us, something not right and though they are curious and drawn to use, they are often apprehensive and weary.

Clenching my hands into a fist, I watched the clock tick off the seconds. My nails dug into the cold skin of my palm, leaving small, crescent moon impressions. This class couldn't go any slower if time stopped. A slight breeze blew through the class room as a student came in late. Edward's enticing sent blew over me and my mouth began to water.

I could ask to show him to his next class, then drag him into the forest. I could dump that water bottle of his on his pants, force him to leave the class room, then throw him into the car. What if I said I was feeling sick and get him to take me to the nurse's station? We're in the back of the class; I could take him when the teacher's back is turned. If I'm quick I could feed and be done before anyone knew what had happened. I'd have to deal with the rest of the class though afterwards. If I'm lucky, Alice would see what I was up too and help me with the clean up.

Beside me, Edward shifted, I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to acknowledge him. Maybe if I ignored him long enough, if I fought hard enough, we could both get out of this alive. I wanted to cry out, to scare him off, bolt from the room myself, but his scent was too overpowering. My mouth watered at the thought of his warm blood flowing threw through his veins, into my awaiting mouth. The crimson liquid pouring down my throat, all I had to do was turn, flash a smile.

"Hi, I'm B-"

The bell rang, sparing the boys life. I had almost gone threw with it, I had almost taken his life. I suppressed the urge to bolt from the room. Restraining myself considerably, I moved only as fast as a panicked human and raced from the room. I couldn't stay in that class, I needed to switch class, switch schools, move to a different planet for God's sake! Anything to get away from _him_.

Bursting into the office, I startled the receptionist. "I need to change classes." I demanded, holding her eyes with mine in an attempt to bend her to my will. "Fourth period biology, change it to anything else."

"I-I'm sorry." The lady stuttered, looking at her computer screen, "There aren't any classes with a free space at that time."

"What do you mean?" I almost yelled at her, "I can't stay in that damn class." Can't she understand? This is a life or death situation, literally. I have never had such a strong reaction to a human before, not in over two hundred years.

The door opened behind me, a gust of wind carrying the exact sent I was running from. Whipping around, I came face to face with my own personal Hell. "Never mind." I snapped at the receptionist before stalking out. I should have stayed home.

In the parking lot, my siblings lounged around my car, waiting for me as if nothing had happened. Only one of them appeared to be phased.

Alice's worried face told me she had at least one disastrous vision regarding me and a certain boy. "Did you . . ." she couldn't even finish the sentence as I slid into the driver's seat.

"Does it look like I did?" I spat back. It wasn't fair of me to snap at Alice like that, but frankly, I was in no mood for idle chit-chat.

"Did what?" Emmett asked from behind me at the same time I felt a wave of calm try to settle over me.

"Screw off, Jasper." I snapped, ending all hopes of any conversation as I pulled up to our house. How was I supposed to tell them that I had almost let our secret become public knowledge? Stalking into the house, I didn't even bother greeting Esme or Carlisle as I made my way upstairs to my bedroom.

My room wasn't anything spectacular. The walls where plastered with photographs and posters of the Amazon, London, India. Every place I have ever been is represented in some way. A small Buddha statue sat on my dresser beside a soapstone native carving of a whale. Next to a Japanese painting hung a native mask. This was my home, my family, and I was going to have to leave it all behind.

Grabbing a small shoulder bag, I shoved the appropriate clothing into it. Snatching a wallet from one of the dresser drawers, I headed back downstairs.

"Are you sure?" I herd Carlisle long before I saw him.

"Yes, that's what I saw." That was Alice, anxiety showing through in her voice.

The whole family stood in the living room, and six heads turned my way. "I have to leave for a while." I stated plainly, there was no need to explain myself; Alice had obviously told them what she saw.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke sternly, his eyes locking with mine. "We can get through this, as a family." That was Carlisle; everything could be fixed so long as we stayed together.

I shock my head. "No, not this time. I'll be back though." I promised, giving Esme a quick hug, she was really going to worry over this one, that was a given. "I'll be fine; I just need some Bella time." I told them, though I'm sure it was a lie.

With that, I turned and left my family watching as I climbed into my Volvo and drove away.

Need is far different from want. To need something is to be unable to live without it. It is something that is essential to survival. Need is a word of both strength and weakness. Strength to show you know how to survive in this cruel world. Weakness to admit you can't live without it.

My situation was a want. I wanted Edward's blood; I wanted to drink every drop up. I wanted to taste him, to allow his scent to over whelm me. I wanted to stalk him, hunt him and feed off of him till the end of time.

What I _needed_ was to run. Run as fast and as far away as I could. There was no other option; there was no way I was going to force my family to move simply because I wasn't strong enough to resist. I wasn't going to be that selfish, at least not yet.


	3. The Solitude of it All

_Hey guys, _

_Merry Christmas, happy holidays everyone! Here is your christmas present, a new chapter! I'm heading off to see family for a week starting tomorow, so I won't able to post a chapter next week, but I can promise you one as soon as I'm back to my computer. I hope you all have a fantastic holiday and everyone gets Jasper - I mean great gifts this year ^^_

_cheers,_

_Avey _

_P.s. if anyone wants to get _me_ Jasper for Christmas, I wouldn't object ^-^_

_Chapter 3 ~ The Solitude of it All_

Some worship in a temple, others in a church. Some people pray in groups, some alone. I worship in the forest, I pray with nature. This is my church, this is my religion, my heaven and at times, my hell. Enchanted forests of emerald containing secrets that haven't been told in centuries; mystic rivers that hide dangers in their depths. These are the things I cherish, the things that call me back. No matter how hard I try, the glorious Amazon always whispers to me, pulling me to the place I came from.

I had drove for days straight, stopping only for gas and boarder crossing. Slipping from one country to the next, my cell phone vibrating on the passenger seat ever few hours. My family was worried about me, correction, Esme was worried about me. Still I continued my journey south. I needed to get as far away from the tempting scent that seemed to follow me. Even as I passed through Mexico, my head still spun with the intoxicating smell. The only thing that kept my foot on the pedal and my Volvo pointed south was the anticipation of being home again.

I had dropped my car off in one of the larger towns, one of the perks of being my age, you accumulated enough money not to worry about trivial things such as stolen vehicles. I didn't need a map or a guide as I made my way towards my final destination, the river was all I needed, even without it, I would be fine. Even humans have places that they could get to with their eyes closed. My eyes were open for this trip though, I needed the sights before me to help block out the memory I was running from.

Deep in the forest, past where civilization had dared enter, in a place where humans hadn't ventured for centuries, I found a place from my past. The Amazon had taken over, reclaiming the clearing we had created as a family. Vines had grown up and over what was left of the foundation of our house, crumbling bricks that once created a structure I called home.

How good it was to be back, to immerse myself in my former home. Nowhere else in the world can I feel like my old self, like I was human again. I could almost look past the fact that I could hear the leopard as it stalked its prey, twelve miles away. Or that I could see the green tree python curled around the limb of a tree on the other side of the river. Almost normal, but not quite.

A black jaguar moved quietly through the under brush, surveying me as I quietly made my way deeper into the rainforest. Bird calls and monkey howls filled the world around me, sounds that calm me, sounds that transport me to a world I barely remember. A world I no longer belong to, I was not human anymore, I was a vampire, a creature created to be a killing machine.

Dropping fluidly down onto a fallen tree, I closed my eyes and just let myself become lost in this place. This place that will always be my home. I had thought that the Amazon would be my only true home; just recently I have proven myself wrong. My home was wherever my family was, and right now my family was still in Forks while I sat here, contemplating my life, half a world away and totally alone.

I had been gone for seven days already, and I still haven't found a solution to my dilemma. I wanted Edward; he was all I could think about. His stunning green eyes, the warmth that radiated from his human body, that enticing scent, these are the things I can't get out of my head. But I couldn't have him. As long as I called the Cullen's my family, I would stick with their 'vegetarian' diet.

Who was this green eyed boy? How could I just let him run me away from the place I wanted to be? Surely his blood couldn't be that tempting. I knew I was kidding myself. The scent was too delicious to be just in my imagination.

The right thing to do was to leave Forks. To a vampire ten years meant little, but ten years was enough time for Edward to grow old and leave the town. I had forever, so what was a couple of years away? I could go to England and spend some time with Kirin; it had been many centuries since I had last seen my creator. Or I could go to Italy and live with the Volturi for a while. Aro was forever extending me invitations to return. The world was spread in front of me, I could go wherever I wish, do whatever I wanted. Still, even though I may not have Alice's gift of Sight, something deep inside me told me I couldn't leave Forks.

My anger flared, a rarity for me. Why should this _child_ be allowed to stay where I wished to be? I wanted to be with my family, I refused to be chased from Forks, especially by a mere mortal boy. It was home to me just as the Amazon was home. I would never allow anyone to bar me from my rainforest; I will not let Edward Swan to keep me from Forks.

Still, I needed to leave in order to keep with my animal diet. I wanted to stay to be with my family.

There it is again, need/want. Which do you chose? Do you chose to only take what is required for survival, or do you break down in a moment of selfishness and do as you desire? How does one come to such a choice? A throw of the dice, a toss of the cards?

A small tapir entered my small clearing, gazing at me with curious eyes. It was young, from this year's offspring. I knew its instincts were telling it that I wasn't right, that it should run. Animals knew to fear vampires; they could tell we are more than we appear to be. But this little one didn't flee; it inched closer, looking at me from different angles. It needed to leave; it must have been able to sense that. But it was curious; it _wanted_ to know what I was all about.

Picking a leafy green plant that grew beside me, I offered it to my black and white guest, enticing it with a tasty treat. The yearling inched closer, then danced back, getting almost close enough to take the treat, before retreating again. With the patients of an immortal and the stillness of a statue, I waited, watching this display of both fear and intrigue play out before me. It took several minutes, but my little companion finally took the plant from my fingers, jumping back instantly with the leaf firmly between its teeth. Maybe, with a little patients, and enough bravery, I too can get what I want while ignoring my needs.

Standing, I brushed the leaf litter from my shorts and shirt, scaring away the tapir in the process. _Rejoice my friend, for you have been spared today._ Smiling, I wandered deeper into the jungle, in search of more desirable pray. A jaguar, ocelot or even leopard would do much better. The rainforest was so full of predators that there was little need for me to settle for a leaf eater such as this little guy. There was something about the blood of a meat eater that made it a much better meal.

Later tonight I will find my way out of my forest home and to my car, but for now I am one with this place, a wild animal as fierce and as untamed as the Amazon. Tomorrow will find me back in civilization, and in a few days I will be home. However, until then I shall hunt in solitude.


	4. The Path of Temptation

_Hey guys, sorry for the delay! Things came up, you know how life is. The good news? This chapter is longer then usual! The even better news? I'm almost done chapter 5!!_

_Enjoy,_

_Avey_

**Chapter 4 - The Path of Temptation**

How is it that I let a mere mortal like Edward Swan run me from my home, my family? This question I keep asking myself as I make the drive towards the place my family waits. I know Alice has already warned them and it warms my dead heart to know they are waiting for me. As I pull my Volvo into the drive, I see Esme waiting for me, a smile lighting up her face when her dark eyes fall onto my car. She has neglected her feeding again; she always does when she is worried about one of us. It hurts me to know I am the cause of her current state. How dare the Swan boy push me to do this, how dare he force me to leave my family and hurt those I love. Who is he that he thinks he can chase me away from the place I want to be.

Silently I got out of my car, knowing I wouldn't be questioned, Alice had already told them everything, at least everything she knew. Granite arms wrapped around me after I had closed the door, squeezing me tight. Hesitantly I hugged my mother, her body shaking slightly, if we were capable of tears, I knew Esme would be crying into my shoulder at this moment. "Sorry Mama." I whispered, burying my face in her thick, brown hair. "I won't do it again." It wasn't a promise, but it was the best I could do.

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder, "You're home, that's all that matters." His smile was disarming, comforting. "Whatever happens now, happens as a family." He fixed me with a stare. "No more of this on your own thing. We're a family, and we look after each other."

"Ya, kid, what's the big idea of running off." Emmett laughed from in front of the television, a football game playing across the screen. "Next time you decide to go on vacation, extend an invitation, geez."

"Fine, _boy_, next time I take off, I'll bring you along. I mean I could always use some comic relief." I stuck my tongue out at him. "We could all use a good laugh."

"Just call next time." Rosalie breezed into the room without even looking at me, we never had the most stable of relationships, this was no exception. "For all we knew you were on a killing spree in Hawaii."

Alice shook her head, "I told you she was fine, do you doubt me now, Rose?"

"Hell, Rosy, even I wouldn't bet against Alice." Emmett's laughter shook the house.

Esme's smile was large and genuine, "Come on, Isabella, let's get out of the doorway." She gave me one more hug. "You're home now, that's all that matters."

"Welcome back, Bell." Jasper's southern drawl wafted from upstairs, odd being so far from Alice, but hey, I'm not judging.

"It's good to be back, Jaz." I laughed, I meant every word of that. I still couldn't believe I had ever left. How could I have let Edward chase me away from all this? I am essentially a selfish creature and never in my long life have I ever let anyone chase me away from where I want to be. That's a lie, Kirin did take me away from the Amazon, I resented him for awhile because of that, but then again, it brought me to where I am today, and for that I thank him.

"We've circulated the rumor that you've been sick with the flu. So if you're up to it, you're good to go back to school whenever you're ready." Carlisle informed me as we all lounged around the t.v. "I've been offered a job in Vancouver, which is always an option too."

I shook my head instantly, there was no way we were movie a minute before we had too. "No, I'm fine, just needed to clear my head a bit, you know." I smiled for them, "I'll hit school in the morning, a miraculous recovery and all."

Emmett jumped up suddenly and stretched. "Well, I'm ready for a hunt, who's in?" seems Esme wasn't the only one on a hunger strike. "I hear there's an abundance of grizzly's in the park right now." His grin was bearish itself.

Jasper came down then, "I'll join in."

Rose took her time getting up, "I guess I could come along."

"We should all probably go." Carlisle said.

"I've already eaten; I'll stay back if you don't mind." Alice informed us. "Bella will keep me company."

Esme looked like she was about to comment, but I stopped her. "I've eaten already, bagged me a couple big cats down south, and made some stops on my way home too. I'm stuffed." I pet my stomach. "You guys go on without us, we'll be fine."

With a quick nod from Carlisle, the family was off like a shot, leaving us two girls with the house to ourselves. Alice hugged me, holding me tight for a moment, "I'm glad you're home, you won't hurt him you know."

I shrugged and flopped onto the couch. "He was so damn appetizing Alice, his blood just called to me, you know? Has that ever happened to you?" I looked at her now, hoping that I wasn't alone in this situation.

She gave me a sad smile, " I'm sorry hun, I can't say that there was anybody that calls out to me the way Edward calls to you." She sat down beside me. "But I can tell you for sure that you won't hurt Edward, he means too much to you for you to harm him."

I raised an eyebrow, "Alice?" I asked uncertainly, "What have you seen?"

Laughing, she leaned down and kissed my cheek, "Oh, Bella, what haven't I seen?" she gave me a knowing smile, "I knew you'd find him one of these days, just be strong, and don't be afraid, you'll see, everything will be alright in the end."

I leaned away and looked at her, just looked at her. "Alice? You scare me most of the time, but right now I'm down right terrified." The mischievous smile continued to scare me. "You're not going to tell me are you?"

She shook her head, still grinning ear to ear. "Not a chance. You're not ready yet."

"Will I be ready soon?" I asked with a sigh.

"You'll know when it's time."

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Snow was falling steadily all morning, piling up on the ground. Snowball fights were abundant as I made my way from the cafeteria to biology class. Though I knew it would be melted by the end of class, it still made me cringe. Snow was not my favorite form of precipitation.

It was the moment of truth. Sitting in class I waited for my personal hell to enter and I prayed I was strong enough to resist the temptation. I forced myself to breath, to relax from my rigid stance. I scooted my chair to the far side of the desk, hoping the distance might help save us both. _Deep breath Bell_, I told myself. _Here he comes._ I filled my lungs as much as I could, and waited.

Beside me the chair scrapped as Edward sat down. I turned and smiled, hoping to put him at ease. "Hello, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself last week. My name is Bella Cullen. You're Edward, right?"

Startled, the boy eyed me suspiciously. "Ya, I'm Edward." He turned back to face the teacher, who was blabbering on about flatworms, or something such as boring. "You were gone for awhile." It sounded more like an accusation then a comment. He popped some pages out of his binder. "I took notes for you, I didn't know if you had anyone getting them for you."

"Thanks." The surprise was evident in my voice and even more so on my face. "I, ah, had to deal with some personal problems." I placed the notes in my own binder, the scrawl of his a direct contrast to the elegant calligraphy that was seen on every other page. "So, how are you liking Forks?" _Stop talking you idiot!_

His green eyes were questioning, searching me. Probably wondering about the attitude change. "It's . . . Okay." His discontent was obvious and I jumped on it.

"You don't like it though, do you?" Shoot, I was going to need more air.

"It's . . . very nice." He caught my speculative look and sighed. "I miss the sun. It seems so dark and gloomy here, and wet and cold."

I laughed, "You don't like the cold, eh?" how ironic. I turned my head to the side, taking a slow breath of air that seared my throat. His scent saturated my mind, sending me wheeling for a moment. _Think of something appalling. . . . Emmett in his underwear. Emmett in his underwear. Emmett in his . . ._ I shuttered. _Ewwww._

"I prefer the heat, nice and dry. You feel like you're being burned alive." He smiled and an answering one graced my lips.

"Then why are you here? Did you get kicked out of your last school?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"No, no. Nothing like that. My mom got remarried." He shrugged, as if that explained everything.

"And you don't like the guy." _Ha! Score one for me._

"What? No! I love Phil, he's a great guy, and he treats Mom like gold." He sighed. "I just wanted to give them some time to themselves."

"So you're making yourself miserable to make them happy?" I was sure that I had humans down pat, that I could predict them for the most part. Apparently I was wrong because I had no idea what this boy was thinking.

"I'm not miserable." He said defensively. "I love living with Charlie."

"But you're not happy."

He shrugged. "I'll adapt. It's not all about me."

The bell rang and I stoop up slowly, dawdling as I grabbed my books. "So, you love Arizona but you move here, to a place you don't really like." I smiled and chuckled. "I'm an honour role student and I'm confused."

Edward smiled as I followed him out of the room. "I just want my mom to be happy, I don't want her to worry about me. And Charlie's happy to have me. I'm happy because they're happy."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're happy because they're happy?"

"Ya." He watched me for a moment. "Did you do something different to yourself?"

"Um, no." I blinked, taken aback.

"Your eyes, they're a caramel colour now. They were almost black before." He watched me carefully.

"I, uh." Crap. In two hundred years I still hadn't completely perfected the art of lying. Sad, I know, but the truth none the less. "It was bad lighting." Hey, that one wasn't even too bad.

"The sun was shinning through the window." His voice was bland, but a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.

"Class, got to go." Turning, I left him there, stunned by my sudden departure.

Amazing how easy that had been. He had survived, and so had I. My family had never shown up in a panic and Emmett never did pull the fire alarm. I breathed a sigh of relief, a breath of fresh, clean air, untainted by temptation. A smile lit across my face as I exited the school. Enough excitement for one day, with only Spanish left, I headed to my car to relax.

Slipping into the leather seats, I turned on the music. The soothing notes of Claire de Lune floated around me. I leaned back and let them take me where they would, guide me to a less complicated place and time. I thought about how much I had hurt Esme, and how I had only just managed not to disappoint Carlisle. I thought about Alice, my sister and my best friend, and about Emmett, the true big brother I never had as a human. Kiran came to mind, another brotherly figure, but more complicatedly so. It was unusual how much my old companion seemed to be popping into mind recently.

"So, you didn't kill him." A chuckle burst through my thoughts as Emmett slipped in beside me. "I have to say, I'm impressed. You're either really strong, or really stupid."

I rolled my eyes. "Or both." I muttered sardonically. Maybe I was just masochistic.

Emmett's laughter boomed in my little car. "Or that. Still, I could never control myself like that. You're so stubborn that once you get something fixed in your mind, you'll see it through to the end."

"How do you know, Em? Hoe do you know that you could never resist?" I asked, frustrated. My nerves were starting to fray after such a long day.

"Because I killed the girl rather then befriend her."

My head whipped around so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. "What?"

He nodded and rested his head back against the seat. "Ya, there was no thinking, just action. One minute I'm running an errand for Rosy, the next I have a mouth full of human. Mmmm, she tasted even better then she smelt." He closed his eyes, lost in the memory.

I shuttered, I didn't want to think about how good Edward smelt, let alone fantasize about how he would taste. That was just getting into horrifying territory.

"You should just off him now." Emmett commented nonchalantly. "Make all lives easier."

"I have to agree." Jasper drawled, slipping into the backseat, my two sisters behind him. "Just kill him and stop drooling after him."

A growl burst through my lips. "I will not kill him." I spat out, throwing the car in reverse.

"Well, you didn't kill him today, and Emmett, you owe me $100. Pay up." Alice demanded with a pretty smile.

"You bet against Alice?" the three of us chorused in amazemend.


End file.
